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Cruising - Just Looking for Mr. Right Away
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|  |  | | by Ron Meijer, in General , posted 07 November 2004 |
Cruising, just ask your friends and acquaintances and you’ll get the same explanation: to chat up, looking for a sex partner, etc. It seems like it’s all known, however, as it is for everybody: you’ll have to learn it, and there are more and more youngsters nowadays who don’t know (yet) how to chat up. The knack of chatting up is not to be taught by reading; however we can put down the possibilities and especially line up the risks. Over the last years there has developed - next to the traditional park, the dark room or the sauna - also the phenomena of online chatting and there are other possibilities for sexual contacts now. Is it really that great? What are the difficulties? We have lined up some possibilities for sex in the outdoors.
Park & Co
We have made a distinction in two ways of making contact. The first aims at having sex as fast as possible without too much of a hassle. When you’re horny and tired of jerking off by yourself, the park is the ideal place for finding a sex date. Till some time ago urinals also used to be a favorite spot, but the suited ones have been removed by the local moral censors, or have been rebuild for one person use only.
In stead the parking lots near the motor way have become very popular now, but having a car is a requirement for this possibility. So, spending a couple of hours in the park might not be such a bad idea on a hot summer night. If you have never been in a park at night, make sure first you get familiar with the exits and all the current wickets. Don’t just enter the park, but let your eyes get used to the darkness. Rather quickly you’ll find out that a lot of people are walking about aimlessly, or are sitting on a bench. That’s the area where you have to be.
Be aware that most of them are only looking for direct sex contacts and therefore it’s not out of the question that somebody goes for your crotch immediately. If you can’t appreciate this: just push away that hand. If you’re in for a group session, that’s also one of the possibilities here. You can’t be too choosey, but it’s fun to experience it for once. If you find someone you would like to spend some time with behind a tree, just try to get his attention by standing near him or following him.
The best time is when it’s not so busy. Because when it’s crowded you don’t know who to pick and you don’t know who and what you’re dealing with; and the practice proves less is "happening" then. Be always aware of the surroundings, because "queer-bashers" do still exist nowadays. Get used to the fact that you might meet the weirdest figures; from very shy to very rude. Most men are quite direct about making clear what they prefer sexually. So, for many there is no time for long-lasting foreplay. But that’s not what you’re here for anyway, it's just for a "quicky." You can always decide to go home together or to find a more quiet spot in the park to get into some deeper action.
Darkrooms and sex cinemas
In some big cities there's in some bars a darkroom or backroom. The name already explains it: it’s a dark space in a bar where you can have sex. Originally they have blown over from America and they're especially to be found in Amsterdam. The darkroom is a step further. In a park you’re completely anonymous. In a bar this is also possible, but in that case you have to restrict yourself to stay only in the darkroom, because there’s a bigger chance that somebody would like to start a conversation with you at the bar, than there would be in the park.
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If you’re aiming for a nice night out with sex as dessert, the darkroom is the ideal place to go to. But like I said: just having sex without no further chitchat is also possible here.
Further on the rules or habits are the same as in the park, only in a bar you’re in a much safer area. To the darkrooms and to the park apply the same warning: “take care of your belongings,” because pickpockets operate everywhere.
At most bars you’re able to put your coat and valuables in the wardrobe. Don’t take more money with you, than you think you’ll need.
To stick it in your socks or shoes is quite a known habit, so if someone starts to fiddle at that area, there’s a big chance he’s looking for money (unless he has a feet fetish).
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Saunas
If you would like to treat yourself completely, the sauna is the place to be. All saunas in Holland meet the requirements you might expect of a modern sauna in connection with hygiene. Some are provided with everything you think of, while others are small and more intimate, so it depends of what you’re looking for. Some, like Thermos in Amsterdam, even have a swimming pool, Jacuzzi, dry sauna and a steam room. It’s the same story over here: what you don’t like doesn’t have to happen. So if you decide to go for the sauna only, that’s possible. However, do you get excited by all the beauties around you, than you’re free to make a choice.
Remember you’re only dressed in a small towel in a sauna, so people are focused on appearances. So, hold in your stomach. If you can’t do this anymore, it’s necessary to visit the gym if you want to become a regular sauna visitor. To put away your clothes and other belongings you’ll get a key to a locker. Take notice of, or ask for the policy about the use of joints and poppers. Even in Amsterdam not everything is allowed. So if you’re not sure, you’ll better ask first. Food and drinks are for sale in a sauna because it can make you really thirsty. Before visiting the dry sauna take off your chains, because they can get very hot.
If everything above doesn’t seem to be your cup of tea and you feel happier in your own bed with someone else, or alone but still with someone else, than there are other ways to get your satisfaction: the phone, the computer and... the webcam.
Cybersex
At the end of the eighties a new phenomenon appeared: chatting by telephone. The dating-boxes mushroomed. Chattering all together and than you also had the option to go "private" to talk with one person alone and get to a climax. Of course, everything depended on your voice. If you would like to be seen as a dominant, you couldn’t have a high pitched voice. But when the voice had the right tone, you could give your fantasies free play. When your cum was shot against the wall, you could place down the receiver and wait for your phone bill to come in (and that was quite a bill). Some did spend fortunes; the hype was gone as fast as it started.
Then something new came in: chatting by computer. This has some advantages, but like someone noticed before: “Every advantage has a disadvantage.”
One of the advantages is that you don’t have to leave the house anymore and that the costs are rather low.
Most of us have internet by cable or ADSL, which provides us with a connection to the bad world outside for a fixed price, for twenty-four hours a day.
The disadvantage is that you never know who you’re dealing with; someone on the other side can be like as far as your fantasy reaches. |
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The only thing you see is a text to read. With the phone you had the advantage that you could focus on the voice. Now you only can focus in what horny way it’s written. As we could read for ourselves, we can say that not everybody is an artist when it comes to writing.
With the introduction of the webcam the possibilities have been quite improved, because you’re able to see something now. It’s for you to decide whether you would like to show your face or not. An example of webcams and chatting is the American site http://www.webcamnow.com. This is a video chat site where you can see for yourself, for free and anonymous how it works. Box 7 and 8 are used by the queerboys. Here you can experience that someone isn’t always what he/she claims to be. “Gentlemen” with girls' names are trying to talk straight guys into dropping their pants, etc.
Even if you don’t have a webcam, you can still participate in the chatbox. It’s a nice site to become more experienced. In the free version you’ll have about five images per minute, if you want a quicker version, you’ll need to pay. With the free slower version, there’s the chance that the cum of the guy you’re admiring is already on the screen before you’re receiving a new image, but you can’t have everything for free. However, one of the biggest advantages is that it’s very safe.
If you would like to meet more people in a different way, there’s one of the most famous Dutch sites to be found at http://www.gayclassified.com/.
Thousands of men and boys from Holland and the rest of the world are to be found here, for just sex dates to finding friendship and free accommodation addresses national and international; or just to make contacts in advance with people who are visiting Holland. It could provide you with the start of a nice friendship or a place to stay in a foreign country. Also here counts: take care and let prudence be the mother of wisdom. Be aware of what you’re starting when you’re setting up a date with someone.
It's advised to let the first date take place on neutral grounds, in a bar for instance. Distrust adds of people who're looking for ever-lasting friendship, or who’re asking you for a donation for their traveling costs. Don’t start with them! Mostly these happen to be Russians, Rumanians, etc, with exception of the good ones, because from those there are also many. However, in the stories of regular visitors these groups are the most bespoken. Just use your common sense when it comes to who or what he pretends to be, and you might get to know a lot of nice people at this site. If something beautiful starts from there, than that’s a nice gain.
Recently they placed a clear manual to help you through the site, because the possibilities are almost unlimited and too much to mention them all here. The fantasy of some people is never-ending, it seems.
Mostly there’s not just one thing that works in all cases, but the possibilities we’ve recited here, you might combine in your own way; like having a summer visit to the park or turn on your webcam at minus ten degrees during the winter. |
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