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Rainbow Umbrella’s and Alley Ways

by Marouschka Vink in Columns & Opinions , 20 July 2017

Dit artikel is ook in het Nederlands beschikbaar

Although I do not know if there are any female readers of Gay News at all, I want to start with a “we’ve all been there.” It’s thirty degrees in the month of May. You’re really too busy to take it easy, but at thirty degrees Celsius you do not feel obliged to be active.

Relax, I will not succeed Helga van Leur, I only want to paint a vivid picture. Okay, so it is thirty degrees. I also thought I needn’t work in last month’s heat, so I went to the Vondelpark with my girlfriend. Normally I am not one for sticky and sweet, but that first word is something that is just an integral part of sultry weather. We were not exactly sticky, but I was doing a crossword on my girlfriend’s breasts.

Annoyed that I could not think of any places in the province of Gelderland, I saw two men cautiously approaching us. Yes, that kind of men: they wanted to join us. I considered whether that was because they would know whether the right place name was Epe or Ede. Although solving my puzzle was certainly a priority, I tried to make some time explaining the two men what being lesbian is all about, and that it does not involve men. Don’t you miss a penis? No, the only thing I miss is a three-letter word.

And now back to the gay people. Recently I have been tutoring a Turkish man who is straight. I had him describe a picture of children in the park getting an ice-cream at an ice-cream cart. The first thing he noticed was a rainbow parasol on the ice-cream cart. The vendor had to be gay. It made me laugh, and he looked a bit scared.

The funniest thing about it still had to come. In all seriousness, he asked me if he should be afraid walking around with a rainbow parasol. I did not quite get it, and I answered, sarcastically of course: “Yes, you’d better be careful. I would avoid dark alleys with a rainbow umbrella.” He had to laugh, and rightly so. At least we won’t find him in the Geelvinckssteeg.

It wasn’t long until I figured out what my next column should be about: meat and wallies. At home and opening my laptop I wondered why there was such a large difference between discrimination of lesbian couples and gay couples. And what I could live with more easily: always being seen as a lust object or always seen as an oversexed wally. I haven’t decided yet.

As the current Vice-President of A.S.V.Gay, I will conclude with a short summary of the wonderful activities we will organize in the week of Pride for the GLBTI community:
  • a symposium on August 1st and
  • a proud party for GLBTI students on August 2nd.
I sincerely hope that at the end of each activity no one runs away from us into dark alleys, and that at the end of the evening, I can cuddle up next to my girlfriend.

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In our youngest issue, Gay News 344, April/ May/ June/ July 2020



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